Armed Forces, Aviation, Medical, & Trade Abbreviations... 1942 - 2015
 
ARMED FORCES AND VINTAGE:
 
SNAFU: Situation Normal All Fouled Up (Usual crap, I can sort this out..)
TARFU: Things Are Really Fouled Up (I can sort this out but its gonna take some F time..) BT employees take note
FUBAR: Fouled Up Beyond Any Repair (This is F scrap - I can't sort this F mess..)
UXB: Enemy Bomb that has not gone off.. (If I pass you running away from this scene YOU assume rank of Captain and are in charge..)
F STUKA: Dive Bomber! (Pardon me if I pass you at 230mph running away from this tit..)
F MESSERSCHMITT: Either a Me109 with all guns blazing or a 3 wheeler driven by a Gerry Hat Trick - keep your distance in both cases...
F SPITFEUER: = SPITFIRE. They didn't like these at all.. Keep your head down Rolfe...

F MOSQUITO: Or these. Very bad news - Fast, made of wood and carrying rockets, bombs and other ordnance.. OOOHHHH!!!

F HARRIER: The F Argies didn't like these at all. Goes 600mph+ and can VIF (Fly feckin sideways..) spitting fire and death.. Brown trousers job..
F LANCASTER: Not at all popular in Germany around 1944
SNEEDE: Smart talking officer (or customer) who knows absolutely F all about anything - Including what he researched on Giuggole as he called it..
 
MEDICAL...
 
FUBAR - BUNDY: Fouled Up Beyond any Repair - But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet....
 
CIVIL AVIATION:
 
1) "You are now cleared for take off"
The air traffic controller tells you this when you are on the stand and ready to launch your 747 down the runway and in to the air. Should mean no one else is on that runway..
If you are at Tenerife, you ask him AGAIN or get out on to the wing and have a look.. Make sure to ask him when the next KLM plane is due...
 

2) HELICOPTERS mostly use the quadrant (Joystick) method of flying control...

Basically you apply massive power to the rotors, pull/push the stick to get it to a sensible height, then hold it in a particular position and see what the helicopter does....
Because if you want to do that again - THAT IS WHERE YOU PUT THE STICK.. Right?
Note that helicopters are usualy fitted with wheels, skids, floats, etc. so you have a fighting chance when it comes down.
 
UNIVERSAL:
 
PICNIC: Problem In Chair Not In Computer (From Distraught Overworked Computer Engineer)
KMA: Kiss My Ar.... This is actually my daughters car number plate (she's got it sorted then)..
BT: British Telecom.... (More accurately B*d Thieves)
MT: Empty (None left)
NW: Not Working, Broken
FKD: Not Working, Broken
BXD: Not Working, Broken
CP: Customer Problem?
DHC: Dick Head Customer?
TA: No not the Territorial Army (Total Ar... You know the rest)
TU: Dead/Broken (Ladies front top things UP - OK OK it's tits)
KTTT: Keep taking the tablets
NFC: No F chance
 
New items as at 15th January 2015 are this colour
 
 
 
You may replace the word "Fouled" by another word you know that begins with F.....
 
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